would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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