I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
