Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize