Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
