well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
