what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
