We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
