Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
