There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How does it feel to date your dad?
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