We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
