how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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