If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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