i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my shit smells like andre
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
