she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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