OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
