i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
