On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I AM VODKA MAN
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
