I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
