I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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