Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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