Duck Duck Cougar?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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