I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
