question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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