I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
