47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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