Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
