I think my fart just growled at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
