Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize