Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
