My hand turned me down
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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