Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
