Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
