His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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