did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
