Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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