I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
