dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
