Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
