pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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