I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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