I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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