at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
