Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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