I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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