I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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