I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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