How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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