just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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