the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
