from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
