I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
