What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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