Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
