I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
