Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
