"it" just moved
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
