i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to calm my uterus...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
