nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
They have beer where we have blood.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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