i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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