I'm drive I can fine osifer
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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